Monday, March 19th, 2018

50 Fun Things to do in an Elevator

1) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: "Got enough air in there?"
2) Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.
3) Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.
4) Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.
5) Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6) On a long ride, crash from side to side as if you're on rough seas.
7) Shave. (Especially if you're a woman.)
8) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
9) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12) Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you, "Admiral".
14) On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
15) One word: Flatulence!
16) Leave a box between the doors.
17) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I've got new socks on!"
18) When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now. Damn motion sickness!"
19) Give religious literature to each passenger.
20) Do Tai Chi exercises.
21) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22) Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
23) Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24) Sing, "Mary Had a Little Lamb," while continually pushing buttons.
25) Holler, "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28) Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
29) Meow occasionally.
30) Burp, and then say "Mmmm...tasty!"
31) Lean against the button panel.
32) Start a sing-along.
33) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
34) Play the harmonica.
35) Shadow box.
36) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space".
37) Wear a puppet on your hand and make it talk to the other passengers.
38) Say, "I wonder what all these do," and push the red buttons.
39) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40) Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
41) Bring a chair along.
42) Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43) Blow spit bubbles.
44) Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46) Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47) If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!"
48) Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49) Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."
50) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.