Thursday, December 13th, 2018

My Gym Class Theory

Alright, here's how I think gym class all started out. First there was these two people, a guy, Phil, and a girl, Eve. This was back in the 60's so one night they had fun and drank a few beers.

Later, they found out they drank a few too many beers and ended up in bed. Yup, they had some bedtime fun and without the rubber. So Phil thought he had to spend the rest of his life with Eve and get married to her since she was going to have his child.

They didn't like the doctor much so they waited about 8 months to go to the doctor's office where they found out that Eve was going to have a baby boy.

They both were excited and everything. But Eve seemed to not like the fact that it was going to be a boy, and not a girl. Phil thought that Eve wouldn't like the new baby as much because it was going to be a boy and not a girl like she hoped.

After about a month, Phil went over to Eve's house to try and talk out the problem. They decided to toke up while they talked. As they smoked their weed, they came to the agreement that Eve would still love her new baby boy.

Later that night, Eve told Phil that she felt like she was going to take a crap, but not out of her butt. Phil said, "You stoned moron, you're having the baby!" and so they got in the van and went over to the hospital.

After Eve had her baby, they decided to name their baby Jim. So the stoned mother wrote down the name "Gym" on the birth certificate not thinking about her spelling.

Later, Phil and Eve found out that from the weed that little Gym didn't fully develop and that their baby was going to be mentally handicapped. They were sad because they thought that Gym would be teased about looking different and not having the same learning abilities as the other children at school.

A few years later when Gym was 7 years old and in first grade, they found out they were right. All the kids called Gym stupid because he couldn't read and looked different.

Gym went through this teasing all his life. When he was 23 years old, he came to the conclusion that he was sick and tired of all of this and didn't want any other kids to go through all of this like he did.

So Gym started a club where parents could go to work out and say no to drugs. This place helped parents to keep doing something and stay off drugs because once they joined this club, they weren't allowed to leave until their full year was over with and if you had to do this for a year, you wouldn't want to be on drugs either.

Everyone loved Gym's idea, even the schools. Some schools thought that this would be the perfect way to keep kids off of drugs and entertained. Later on, schools all over the world had taken Gym's idea and made it into a class and a regular part of school.

And schools everywhere thought that this class should be named after the poor man that suffered teasing all of his life, Gym. But Gym didn't want to take all the credit for this idea, because if he were born fully developed, he wouldn't have ever thought of this.

So he suggested Phil-Eve, or P.E. Not all schools liked this idea because they thought Phil and Eve were idiots to be on drugs and be at fault for having Gym have such a bad life full of teasing and being made fun of, so a lot of the schools stuck with the name Gym for this class.

Some of the higher grades told the students why there was Gym class, and they thought it'd be a good idea to call it P.E. and Gym, giving credit to both of them. So that's how Gym class started, all thanks to two people that got drunk one night.