Friday, March 24th, 2023
50 Fun Things to do in an Elevator
1) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while
peering inside, ask: "Got enough air in there?"
2) Blow your nose and offer to show the contents
of your tissue to other passengers.
3) Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or
off.
4) Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small
World' incessantly.
5) Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6) On a long ride, crash from side to side as
if you're on rough seas.
7) Shave. (Especially if you're a woman.)
8) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead
and muttering, "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
9) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the
elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10) Stand silent and motionless in the corner,
facing the wall, without getting off.
11) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain
to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12) Lean over to another passenger and whisper:
"Noogie patrol coming!"
13) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with
a warm handshake and ask them to call you, "Admiral".
14) On the highest floor, hold the door open and
demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the
shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
15) One word: Flatulence!
16) Leave a box between the doors.
17) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for
a while, and then announce, "I've got new socks on!"
18) When at least 8 people have boarded, moan
from the back, "Oh, not now. Damn motion sickness!"
19) Give religious literature to each passenger.
20) Do Tai Chi exercises.
21) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter
in your nose.
22) Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go," then
sigh and say, "oops!"
23) Show other passengers a wound and ask if it
looks infected.
24) Sing, "Mary Had a Little Lamb," while continually
pushing buttons.
25) Holler, "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator
descends.
26) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head"
on the side.
27) Stare at another passenger for a while, then
announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28) Ask each passenger getting on if you can push
the button for them.
29) Meow occasionally.
30) Burp, and then say "Mmmm...tasty!"
31) Lean against the button panel.
32) Start a sing-along.
33) When the elevator is silent, look around and
ask, "Is that your beeper?"
34) Play the harmonica.
35) Shadow box.
36) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk
and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space".
37) Wear a puppet on your hand and make it talk
to the other passengers.
38) Say, "I wonder what all these do," and push
the red buttons.
39) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40) Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
41) Bring a chair along.
42) Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another
passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43) Blow spit bubbles.
44) Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find
a more suitable host body."
46) Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47) If anyone brushes against you, recoil and
holler, "Bad touch!"
48) Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at
other passengers.
49) Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's
getting larger."
50) Make explosion noises when anyone presses
a button.
